UnNews:Rats sue gerbils for libel

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Rats sue gerbils for libel

Truth doesn't "live here" — It's just camping out

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28 February 2015


Rodent falling out:Black gerbil and Black rat.

OSLO, Norway -- Rats have brought a genus-action lawsuit for libel (they being more than just a class), after scientists in Norway revealed that the true carriers of the Black Death were gerbils.

Researchers writing in the Journal of the British Rodent Guild suggest it was the cute, hopping gerbils who were the real spreaders of the plague, which wiped out half of Europe's population in the mid 14th century. Until now, it was always the rats that got the blame, especially the black rat. This apparently explains why the plague spread so quickly — gerbils were being passed around openly in cages as playthings — unlike rats, which no one will touch, unless they're Goths or into the occult.

Leading the legal fight for justice for rats is Remy, the world famous rat chef in the film Ratatouille who argues that his species has long had a bad press from humans.

"I have teamed up with Ben Rat from the film Ben, British television rodent Roland, and guileless foil Bernard from cinema's The Rescuers to help publicise our action. This isn't an attack on the gerbil community, but we think they should stand up and hold up their paws to admit that they carried the fleas that killed the humans."

Remy says he expects a long fight to clear the rats from any involvement.

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