UnNews:Radiation opens hole to future Utopia for five minutes
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Radiation opens hole to future Utopia for five minutes
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Monday, May 25, 2015, 06:12 (UTC)
5 April 2011
TOKYO, Japan -- Immediately following a near-meltdown incident at what remains of the Fukishima Power Plant near here, a strange "Temporal Vortex" was seen opening near the world-famous Tokyo Tower. The vortex was apparently created when a flying beta particle from the continuing radioactive decay produced by the power plant reacted with the metallic structure of the Tower and created a portal that connected with a 25th century Washington, D.C.
Immediately following the portal's creation, a number of American tourists attempted to enter it, only to find that it acted more like a telephone than anything else, allowing people to speak and see through it to communicate with future beings. Contact was made roughly thirty seconds after the hole opened, and bystanders continued to "chit-chat" with whatever people lay behind this hole. According to a cameraman who just so happened to be there at the time, one of the future beings said, "Yeah, we pretty much have everything we could ever want, we have traveled to space," The citizen stopped to dodge a flying car, before continuing, "cured every disease, legalized gay marriage, established good relationships with alien governments, and even reduced our oil dependency. But what made it all possible was our discovery of...."
At that exact moment, the portal violently collapsed on itself, creating a blast that took out most of the tower, which then collapsed, killing dozens. Scientists believe that the portal will not open again this week.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|