UnNews:Queen dissolves Parliament as PM calls for Election
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.|
6 April 2010
LONDON, England -- After the last twelve controversial months in which England has seen the Labour Party struggle to keep control of the Country, the Queen has taken action and has dissolved Parliament. The move came after the Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, visited the Queen and asked her permission to call for an election, therefore starting the electoral campaigns due to end on May 6th.
Since the MP's Expenses Scandal last year, the Labour Party and the behaviour of MPs in general has been repeatedly scrutinised and blamed for being the cause of much public uproar and calls for the resignation of heads of Parliament and the Prime Minister himself. At the forefront on the attacks on the Labour Party is Conservative Party Leader, David Cameron. Cameron has repeatedly commented on Brown's views and approaches to key election issues such as the National Insurance increase, Immigration and the re-opening of Woolworth's; subjects which Cameron claims that the PM treats as "Second class". Gordon Brown has retaliated by giving no less than three speeches dedicated to Labour's promises on dealing with Immigration, the most delicate of the issues, if they are re-elected.
The tension between the two main parties has been building increasingly over the last two weeks as has support for both of the leaders. Whereas last week, when it appeared that David Cameron's popularity increased - Cameron appeared as a surprise candidate on Over the Rainbow, Andrew Lloyd Webber's attempt at finding a suitable actress to perform in his latest adaptation - it appears that the impressive lead that he had on Gordon Brown has disappeared since he appeared on Sunday's Easter Special of Desert Island Discs on Radio Four. Many people believe that the fate of the election rests on the topic of Immigration, with more and more people looking for a cap on the number of Immigrants allowed into England. Foreign Secretary, David Miliband has stated that, "the future of the Labour Party relies almost entirely on the party's approach to Immigration and how they intend to deal with what is seen to be a 'problem'. Gordon Brown is keen to let the public understand that although he is in favour of Immigration he will take harsh action towards anyone who holds any animosity towards long held British traditions such as St. George's Day, ignoring speed limits and Chinese takeaways."
In his speeches over the past few weeks Brown has stressed that he will take a far more harsh approach to Immigration claiming to put a cap on the number of Immigrants at 40,000, a large decrease from the 160,000, which entered the country in 2008 as a result of Labour's 'Open Door' policy. He has said, as has Cameron if he enters Number 10, that the points system - Where Immigrants must score between 80 and 100 points in Ten Pin Bowling in order to access visa - will still be kept and that only skilled workers who are desperately needed will be allowed to enter. All of the political parties have similar ideals when it comes to putting a cap on Immigration, apart from the far-right party BNP who would plan to deport all Immigrants and non white citizens, meaning that the slightest change on policy could mean the difference between winning the election and losing it.
Nick Griffin, chairman of the BNP has stated that due to the negative view that the country has on Immigration that he and his party are hoping for a positive result following the election of two MEP's last year into the European Parliament. "We feel that this is a brilliant opportunity for the BNP. Whereas the other party leaders have failed to control the invasion of ethnic minorities into our great country we have promised time and time again that we are the only solution for this. The public are calling for a cap on Immigrants, we do not propose a cap, we plan to put a stop to it for good. The day the BNP enter 10 Downing Street, we will say 'You have two weeks to get out' to all those who are not indigenous to our country." Although there are people who have praised the BNP for their harsh policy on Immigration, many people state that they would not vote for them as they have no policies on anything else.
The next month will play host to the campaigns of both the Labour and the Conservative Parties, both have strong policies and strong leaders meaning that at this time there is no indication of who will be entering 10 Downing Street on May 7th.