Queen Elizabeth arrested for begging outside posh house

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28 January 2014


Queen Elizabeth II in happier, more Royal times.

LONDON, United Kingdom -- Armed Police confirm that the woman they arrested outside Buckingham Palace for aggressive begging is Queen Elizabeth II. In a short struggle involving truncheons, rubber bullets, rubber dollies, bicycle clips and a pack of Mace spray, the Queen was eventually pinned to the floor and taken away to the Tower of London for questioning.

An anonymous policeman who happened to be off duty and but available for the press afterwards said he say 'Her Maj' trying to get pass the security gates at Buckingham Palace before climbing over and attacking foreigners taking selfies:-

"She was like a woman possessed," said Anon Copper. "She kept saying I have no money!, I have no money!! and lunged at armed policemen with her spectre. An elderly gentleman in an old British navy uniform was then seen to rattle a large crystal bowl and said the family was destitute after letting Prince Charles invest all their money in Fracking. He was later identified with that Australian actor who appeared with a pig in the film Babe.

Signs have now on the gates with a repossession order. The British Chancellor of the Exchequer said the Queen had been give a lot of chances to get her finances in order but now they were going to be tough on 'squanderers and Windsor wastrels'.

The Queen was later released and tagged and will now appear in Westminster Hall where she is expected to lose her head for real. Prince Charles denied he had anything to do with the incident but said it was 'time for mummy to go into a home and not come out again'.

In other Royal news Kate Middleton will now mix Prince George's baby food formula for an obscure charity.

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