UnNews:Qaddafi Arrest Warrant:African Union tells ICC to ‘bugger off!’
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.|
3 July 2011
MALABO, Equatorial Guinea -- The African Union (AU), which represents so-called civilized nations in Africa, called on its members to "totally ignore" the International Criminal Court's arrest warrant for Libyan leader Muammar al-Qaddafi, and all members unanimously agreed to tell the International Criminal Court (ICC) to "bugger off!" It is a response that seriously embarrasses the European tribunal, and makes it impossible for them to be taken as anything more than an elitist kangaroo court.
The decision passed by the 53-member African Union late Friday states that the warrant against Qaddafi "is ludicrous" in that, apart from jaywalking, he is the leader of a sovereign nation, and has done nothing other than attempt to quell an illegal armed insurrection in his country. "National defense is his duty, it’s not a crime!" the decision stated. "And jaywalking is a civil matter for Libyan traffic authorities, not the ICC."
AU executive Jean Ping also told reporters that the ICC is a club of "racist pigs" and only goes after make-believe crimes committed in Africa, while ignoring those he says were committed by Western powers in places like Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan – not to speak of the outlandish bombardment of Libya.
"Accordingly, we decided that the member states will reject the bogus arrest warrant," said the motion, which was translated from drum beat into English for The Associated Press by Mambo Zulu Audunga, a spokesman in the AU commissioner's office.
A total of 31 states in Africa who were signatories to the International Criminal Court also resigned en mass to protest the unfair and illegal warrant against Qaddafi. In fact, there has been increasing malaise in Africa over the ICC, which has been denounced by the continent's legal if not primitive rulers as a blunt instrument of neocolonialism.
Qaddafi's chief of staff Bashir Saleh, who traveled to Malabo to attend the summit, applauded the AU's decision, and he flipped his finger toward the Western Media as the heads of state emerged after making their declaration on Friday evening.
Libyan government spokesman Moussa Ibrahim welcomed the AU's decision not to enforce the ICC warrant, repeating the government's position that the court is an "imperialist" institution that only targets African leaders who are legally engaged in running their nations, while allowing Western governments to bomb them for no reason whatsoever, other than sheer greed.
"The ICC is a European Guantanamo Bay. It's only against the African leaders. It never deals with the crimes committed by the United States of America ... and by the European powers ... everywhere in the world."
- Staff "African Union Members Agree to Disregard Qaddafi Arrest Warrant". Fox News, July 3, 2011