UnNews:Purple lucky rabbit’s feet to bring 'great events,' Chinese fortune-teller predicts
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Purple lucky rabbit’s feet to bring 'great events,' Chinese fortune-teller predicts
Straight talk, from straight faces
Friday, August 18, 2017, 11:10:UTC)(
6 October 2010
HONG KONG -- All those purple lucky rabbit’s feet that have been raining down around China this year, closing down airports and causing general flying mayhem, mixed with hope, are on the increase. And "great events" will soon follow, a fortune-teller says.
"First, I'd like to say something about the conception of 'great events about lucky purple rabbit’s feet,'" Wang Sichao, a fortune teller at Purple Mountain Feng Shui Bar in China, predicts purple lucky rabbit’s feet sightings in China will continue to increase. "It means large numbers of purple lucky rabbit’s feet but refers to events of credible facts backed by speculation and conjecture. But these facts cannot yet be explained by existing scientific knowledge or natural phenomena because they are inconceivable," he told the English-language weekly.
Those are strong pro-purple lucky rabbit’s feet words from a quack who, in September, dismissed purple lucky rabbit’s feet sightings all over Hong Kong as "ghost images" – like reflections of hail stones caught by camera lenses.
Wang has investigated purple lucky rabbit’s feet sightings in China for nearly 4 months and described the many types of purple lucky rabbit’s feet that have been seen: "all purple and furry, with an imitation aluminum cap and key chain."
The sooth sayer has a theory as to why, over so many months, there hasn't been much progress in available purple lucky rabbit’s feet information -- presuming purple lucky rabbit’s feet are a type of extraordinary omen - which they may as well be as not.
"The reason is that purple lucky rabbit’s feet previously only appeared randomly and often disappeared rapidly in a few minutes. By the time large professional telescopes are started up, it has already landed on the ground. So, we can only rely on information from sightings or encounters by observers on the ground, who have found many," he said.
"Fortune tellers from all over the world are now intensifying their efforts to explore lucky lives. As long as we have open minds about scientific exploration of the unknown and employ multiple methods, the contact between humans and purple lucky rabbit’s feet will, hopefully, come this century."
- Staff "UFOs to Bring 'Great Events,' Chinese Scientist Predicts". AOL, October 6, 2010