UnNews:Public get sick of Large Hadron Collider news stories

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Public get sick of Large Hadron Collider news stories

Truth doesn't "live here" — It's just camping out

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Tuesday, March 20, 2018, 18:02:59 (UTC)

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19 September 2008


Current geographical map of Switzerland

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND - It seems that ever since the Large Hadron Collider was switched on a week ago, the Scientists seem to be trigger happy with the machine. They are switching it on everyday, causing new disasters and phenomenon.

Some of the disasters are:

  • Destroying God by accident
  • Creating numerous Black holes in our atmosphere
  • Creating a wormhole to a parallel Universe
  • Destroying Switzerland
  • Proving the Mayan doomsday theory
  • Gave Conspiracy Theorists something else to worry about
  • Created a turd producing ass hole

However, the problem is nobody cares. There are constant reports coming in everyday about what these terrorists Scientists have done to our lives. The only story people remotely care about is the fact it destroyed Switzerland. This is because losing all the money has made the world's economy fall apart, forcing the Lehman Brothers out of business. CERN Scientists said this was supposed to happen.

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