UnNews:Proposal to Ban Sugar in Massachusetts
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard|
23 June 2006
STATE SENATE, Boston, Massachusetts - A recent bill submitted to the Massachusetts State Senate proposed a ban of the popular coffee sweetener, "Sugar". Recent studies have shown that even in small amounts, sugar can cause tooth decay, hyperactivity, and hypoglycemia. When taken in larger amounts, it has been known to cause serious illnesses such as diabetes, obesity, and even heart disease. It was also discovered that sugar contains Sucrose, a well-known carbohydrate.
"It's horrible," says one Massachusetts resident. "We had no idea that sugar had been causing all of these ailments, and yet we have been using it for centuries. I think it should be banned immediately before it can cause any more harm."
Despite this recent research, some residents still support the distribution of sugar, and say that it is not the actual sugar that is harmful, but rather the way it is used. Indeed, it is true that in very small amounts, sugar is necessary to the body. Recently, however, people have been using it in large amounts, i.e., putting it on healthy foods such as Cheerios or coffee, or eating it straight from the bowl. In addition to this use, it has also been found in many desserts which are typically eaten with much more frequency than they were a hundred years ago.
Massachusetts lawyers state that although sugar is much less deadly than Tobacco, it is much more dangerous because it has no warning labels on the package, and therefore it must be banned for not warning its users of potential dangers.