UnNews:Princess of Wales defends toddler ‘allowance tax’
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Princess of Wales defends toddler ‘allowance tax’
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Thursday, December 8, 2016, 18:14:UTC)(
17 December 2012
LONDON -- Camilla, current Princess of Wales, has defended the Prince of Wales' financial arrangements after lowlife commoners rudely accused the Douche of Cornwall of using a “non-existent ruse” for its legal status to collect “Allowance Tax” from the public. Especially vulnerable to the tax are children under the age of 16, who are required to pay up to 90% of their weekly allowance to the Douche.
But Princess Camilla said on Saturday there was also no legal basis for not demanding allowance tax from kids as the Douche was a bag set up to generate income for the Prince and Princess of Wales. She said: “The Prince voluntarily accepts tax on income generated by the Douche, so there is no legal precedent for kids not to pay allowance tax and not to do so might even result in a firm scolding.“
The normally gullible public based their criticisms on a November 2012 kangaroo court ruling on a dispute over whether the Douche was required, as a Royal vassal, to conduct a shake down of school kids at public gatherings recently. A spokescommoner for the public said that the court's finding that the Douche was a “bag” meant it had “no tax demandability”.
Although the findings of the court - which assumed that the Douche's historical context was “possibly nonexistent“ - did not provide any clear-cut support for this view. Still it found against the Douche on the grounds it has no factual authority. The ruling said the Douche's modern role was not to “carry out the public function of providing an adjunct income for the Prince and Princess of Wales‘ pompous lifestyle.”
The commoner's move came in the wake of vague public interest in ‘allowance tax’ after the Douche criticized Starbucks, Google and Amazon over their inability to convince underage clients to pay allowance tax on-line earlier this month.
Graham Smith, chief executive of the public and a rank commoner said: “At a time when the Queendom is under unprecedented stress over the possibility of ‘Royal twins‘ it is unacceptable that the heir to the throne is demanding allowance tax from toddlers in this way.”