UnNews:Prince Harry apologizes for 'being crap at pool' in naked photos scandal
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Prince Harry apologizes for 'being crap at pool' in naked photos scandal
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, November 27, 2015, 11:15:UTC)(
23 August 2012
LAS VEGAS, Nevada, USA -- Prince Harry of Wales has issued an apology for losing a game of 'Strip Pool' in a game held in his luxury penthouse hotel apartment last weekend. Harry, who was last seen in public representing Queen Elizabeth II at the closing ceremony of the Olympic Games in London, had taken time out to go to Las Vegas to 'chill out' - and it seems 'hang it all out' - with friends of both sexes and possibly none.
The 27 year old son of Princess Diana and younger brother of Prince William and Kate Middlebrow of Wales , Harry was photographed naked after he lost in a game of mixed doubles playing pool with girls in a drink-fueled party. Harry said he had originally challenged them to a game of 'Strip Snooker' but discovered no one else there knew how to play that game. So he agreed to change it to 'Pants Off Pool' and lost the bet. Speaking to the press after Harry admitted to his bad playing.
"I was a total ass. Back in England, I am always playing Nude Snooker and I am always the one who keeps his pants on in the end. However, I came here to Las Vegas and no one knows that game. So I agreed to play Strip Pool or was it Bare Bollock Billiards?...sorry can't remember...anyway with a couple of game local fillies. I lost, so 'orf' had to come my underpants. I am a Royal and I have to keep my word - if not my clothing - when I lose a bet."
The photos were published around the world, but back in Britain newspapers were scared to publish them. This is due to the recently passed Treason (Don't Publish Anything to Embarrass the Royal Family) Act of 2012. This has threatened to impose large fines and imprisonment on any British Media outlet that dares to publish 'private photos in the pursuit of naked fun and other such things we can think of' in response to the recent news of British newspapers hacking into other peoples' phone messages.
It is understood Buckingham Palace has asked the British government if they could impose a 'Chinese Wall' of Internet censorship to prevent any of these photos being seen on a UK-based computer. So far this application hasn't succeeded. Prince Harry has meanwhile vowed to 'learn more about how to play Strip Pool' or 'Bare-All Billiards' to prevent future unexpected royal exposure of his family crown jewels.
- Staff "Prince Harry naked pictures not published in the UK". BBC, August 23, 2012
- Staff/Girl with the camera phone "English Royal's Privates on Parade. TMZ Exclusive!". TMZ, August 23, 2012