Priests begin politically correct exorcisms

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28 November 2017


SJW struggles with normality after politically correct exorcism

STOCKHOLM, Sweden -- Swedish priests, both male and female, will now be forced to use the gender-neutral “God” instead of “he” or “the Lord” or “The Holy Father”. It is the latest move by Sweden’s Globalist-Evangelical-Luciferian Church to modernize its 3-year-old guidelines for ritual exorcisms.

There are now a variety of gender-neutral options that can be used throughout the casting away of demons. For example, rather than opening an attempted expulsion with the traditional “Father, son and Holy Ghost”, it is better to use the neutral “in the name of God and the Holy Trinity” – otherwise someone might get his or her feelings hurt.

Church of Sweden spokesperson Sofia Pedersen told The Telegraph: “We talk about Jesus, but Jesus could just as well have been a bearded lady, so in a few places we have changed it to say ‘God’ instead of ‘he’. A wide majority of 1.1% of the people has decided on this change.”

Sweden’s Archbishop, Ante Jackleg, mentally a male in a shemale body, defended the decision to a national news agency. (S)he said: “Theologically we know that God is beyond our gender determinations, God is an ET.”

The Church of England has also moved to be more politically correct and inclusive during ritual exorcisms – perhaps this is why their success rate has fallen to 0%.

A spokesperson for the Church of England told the Telegraph: “With liturgy revised we seek to use inclusive language when referring to God and Satan during exorcisms; we do not want to show favoritism or racism in our rituals, because after all, ‘demons’ are also a minority race.”

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