UnNews:President Obama assasinated, Joe Biden to take over

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This article is part of UnNews UnNews Logo Potato1 Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard

4 July 2011

Joe-biden

Joe Biden will soon replace the late Barack Obama as President.

WASHINGTON, AMERICA -- In a disturbingly ironic turn of events, it seems that President Barack Paris Obama has been assasinated on Independence Day itself. Although details remain sketchy, there is no doubt that our leader has been killed and that the funeral will be held on Monday.

The whole of Twitter was shocked and surprised when @foxnewspolitics, the Twitter name of Fox News, a news station renowed for its accuracy, posted a series of seven tweets. The first, posted 2.43am EDT, declared that the account and its email was back online, as it had been inactive for the previous three days (it is believed that this was due to a glitch in the system for which Fox will sue Twitter, and is certainly not the work of hackers) and wished its followers a happy Fourth of July. The next tweet, however, said with stark accuracy: "@BarackObama has just passed. The President is dead. A sad 4th of July, indeed. President Barack Obama is dead." The third and fourth tweet made the details clear: Obama had been shot twice, in the neck and genital area, by an unknown assasin at a Ross' restaurant in Iowa while campaigning and has bled to death. It also wished regards to the Obama family.

Tweet five asked the followers to RT (retweet) the message to support the late president's family, although no one is yet sure if some kind of funding has been set up, and the sixth tweet recapped on the events with the cold honesty of someone who was being honest. The last tweet so far wished Joe Biden, who was up until the shooting the 47th Vice President of America, luck in his presidency, also stating that there is light at the end of the tunnel. This bold sentence surely marks a milestone in metaphors, with the tunnel surely symbolising the shape of a bullet like never before.

Despite the fact that we must face the facts, not everyone believes what has happened. No doubt wracked with grief, many Twitter members have snorted at the story, calling it a hoax and believing that the reason behind it must be hackers. In fact, hacking group Scriptkiddies has reportedly taken responsiblity for an alleged hacking of @foxnewspolitics, proving how far some people will go to believe that their president isn't dead.

One thing is for sure: we must accept the assasination of Barack Obama like we accepted that of John F. Kennedy, and also accept that Joe Biden is our president. May Barack Obama rest in peace.

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