UnNews:President Bush says something

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 23:38, December 19, 2009 by Mnbvcxz (talk | contribs)

(diff) ← Older revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)
Jump to: navigation, search
This article is part of UnNews UnNews Logo Potato1 Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard

9 October 2006


George Bush smiling

George Bush before making the statement.

DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA, Amerika -- Speaking from an AP wireshack in the beltway, George W. Bush commented that liberal terror continues to terrorfy. In a speech to syndicate cabal members, he said "liberal terror continues to terrorfy our great nation from the attacks on conservative values by North Korea's nucular development, grannies!" Via the vibrations of the air, which the president produced, and the various apparatuses of those within ear shot, the signal was relayed to those concerned.

Following the statement, prominent press members proceeded to quote what the president said verbatim, then draw unquestioning conclusions about the state of the world from it. The statement was "a condemnation," one inner press member said. Others variously described it as "a call to rally" and "an exultation." It has already been printed in several news publications, sparking reading.

Bush's statement instantly changed the very fabric of the universe, as well as the direction of the winds of change. Tearing it apart piecemeal throws blame and ignominy on several parties: namely, terrorist liberals, the great USA, unquestionable conservative values, the evil, uncompromising, fat murderous North Koreans, and... grannies.

Mystery person

Sandy Snakeoil is unpatriotic.

Shameless omnidirectional hate provoker Sandy Snakeoil screamed at a bottom cameraman, "you can't just print what people say; you have to give perspective and unbiased analysis of...." The cameraman ran away.

Kim Jong is ill. There is no word yet on whether the liberals will stop causing terror, and Noam Chomsky was not reached for comment. Press secretary Cam Grey helped reporters flesh out their agenda. George Bush is currently on a lunch break; he is expected to cause another news story when he speaks again.

edit Sources

Personal tools
projects