UnNews:Potatoes launch non-violent takeover

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This article is part of UnNews UnNews Logo Potato1 Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard

26 July 2006

Evilpotato

One of the leaders of what is now being dubbed "the potato revolution", as he appeared in an interview earlier today.

ESSEX, England - Just earlier today, in a startling turn of events, a lorry carrying a cargo of potatoes travelling down the M11 was hijacked by its passengers. The potatoes, who appeared in an exclusive interview with UnNews earlier today, claim that they are "sick and tired" of being so badly treated, watching their families get sold off to different retailers and supermarkets, peeled alive and then finally picked out by shoppers and get eaten.

Potatoes everywhere are rising up and taking farmers, shoppers and markets by storm. People everywhere are advised to retreat to their homes, close all windows with curtains drawn and lock all doors while the government makes efforts to create a peace agreement.

When asked about the safety of the lorry driver, Yabari Solanu, spokespotato for the cause, said "We want this world takeover to go as smoothly as possible, with very few casualties. The safety of your human is guaranteed for now, but we must keep him for... insurance purposes." The hostage has tried to be rescued, it has been confirmed, but the efforts have been abandoned for "diplomatic reasons". Solanu was unavailable for further comment.

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