UnNews:Pope finds a train sign in his bed

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17 November 2013

Nunhead01
Pope Francis found this in his bed

VATICAN CITY -- Pope Francis is reported to have found a British railway train station signpost in his bed last night. It read 'Nunhead' and was covered in a red substance later identified as Robinson's raspberry jam.

The Argentinian-born Pope was said to have been 'amused' and credited it to an 'English jest' as regards his opinion of whether the Falkland Islands or 'Malvinas' should belong to the United Kingdom or to his country. How someone snuck into his bedroom to do this is now the subject of a Papal investigation.

Horsehead
How Pope Francis found the sign as imagined by the UnNews team.

"We are following all leads," said Cardinal-Inspector Armani. "We have ruled out the Protestants, Russell Brand, and Madonna - so that leaves quite a few others to look at. We are sure the Mafia are not involved as they would have left a real Holy Sister's head in the bed."

Other news sources suggest the 'prank' was an inside job by bishops opposed to the Pope's new campaign to root out corruption and choir-boy malpractice. The train name was therefore a warning sign for @Pontifex (as he is known on-line) to stop or face something really unpleasant when he wakes up in the morning.

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