UnNews:Popcorn sales rise as Korea War draws closer
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Popcorn sales rise as Korea War draws closer
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Tuesday, June 28, 2016, 08:10:UTC)(
24 June 2010
World popcorn sales have significantly increased over the last few days as the world looks on to the Korean Penisular.
After a North Korean sausage roll landed on the South's side of the fence, the South Korean government threatened War with its neighbour, for what it calls "a blatant act of impending invasion".The North, outraged by this attack of words, prepared its armies and particular scary nuclear missile, the South produced a wad of money and an American ambassador. The world set up its deck chairs and got cold ones out of the fridge for a scrap.
As tensions rose and America had flash backs to the sixties, FIFA did its good deed for the year, after failing to cease its chance earlier on in the year for Ireland, decided to put both teams into the World Cup. Tensions decreased...all was going well until a little defeat at the hands of Portugal out of the World Cup. Then the South, who just got lucky, qualified for the knockout 16.
With this "conspiracy" revealed, Hu Flung Dung, head pasty chief for the Korean DPR army, marshalled support for the troops against their "neighbour". As a result, popcorn sales have increased, as minimum pricing of USD $150000 for beer has been established by the Committee of Ruining All Pretty good Stuff (C.R.A.P.S), has lead to a drop in purchase of alcohol.
Prematch commentators, Oscar Wilde and Captain Obvious have said "it'll be a bloody good scrap, which somebody's gotta win." The BBC have withheld comment for "moral" reasons, but ITV have already agreed to air the first series in early September.
- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle "[ The Man from UNCLE]". The Black Bull, Yes