UnNews:Polls crushing Obama; GOP looks away

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Polls crushing Obama; GOP looks away

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12 October 2014


The adaptability of the Speaker is why the American public is so eager to elect candidates who will return him to control of the House.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In the midst of polls that have turned against President Obama, national Republicans have extended the Commander-in-Chief a giant Mulligan.

Polls say Mr. Obama's positives have dropped below his negatives, and even below people who respond, "Oh? do we vote again this year?" Mr. Obama is weighed down by ISIL and Ebola, "children" with Islamic prayer rugs flooding across the border, and Michelle telling everyone what to eat.

Mr. Obama last week told his base (all except those whose terms expire, who will not occupy the same room with him), "I'm not on the ballot this fall....but my policies are." Given everything from Obama-care to the Keystone Pipeline, aides concluded that Mr. Obama had just handed in the keys to the Executive Washroom. They were about to call in the Biden Gaffe Patrol to help "walk back" Mr. Obama's remarks, but Republicans came to the rescue first. Many Republican officeholders, especially those also safely not on the ballot, claimed that the theme was to "reach across the aisle and solve partisan gridlock."

John Podhoretz wrote in the New York Post that the GOP "decided this wouldn't be an issue-based election, because it isn't sure where it stands, and because it recruited a first-class team of candidates who can make a case for themselves state by state." By comparison, the public does not care whether the city's Ford dealer has recruited a first-class team of car salesmen, though those salesmen do know where they stand. Though Republican candidates, like car dealers, also have oversized class rings, the average voter has never met one who can "make a case for himself."

Podhoretz notes Democrats' fundraising ability — compared to their supposedly wealthy opponents — and their uncanny ability to bring out "people who would pull the lever but were unmotivated to do so." Glenn Beck conducts daily man-on-the-street interviews where all the respondents know what LOL stands for, but most think Joe Biden is a black Republican while Condoleeza Rice is the Vice President. So the Republican Party is set to either wonder at the mystery of it all, or blame an ignorant and unmotivated nation for not voting for it over a party that says it likes them and offers free Obama-phones.

As Mr. Obama railed against billionaires at the home of billionaire George Soros, the billionaire Koch Brothers began another direct-mail carpet-bombing of Republicans. The daily postcards call the local Democrat a troll who votes with Mr. Obama 99% of the time — except that Presidents don't vote, and Senators now don't vote either except on Saturday mail delivery and changing the names of expressways. And bashing the Democrat doesn't work when the leading Republicans say that they are running solely to do deals with him.

Speaker Boehner, trapped between the Tea Party movement, which wants to fire bureaucrats for the sheer joy of it, and "moderates," who want to continue borrowing money and sending it to Brazil on the condition that its airlines buy jet engines from GE and not from another American company, is relaxed knowing that dissatisfaction with Mr. Obama will now pay dividends, just as it did in 2008 and 2012 when Republican Presidents were elected.

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