UnNews:Politician says something stupid, pisses off special interest

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Politician says something stupid, pisses off special interest

Fake News that's honestly fake

UnNews Logo Potato
Sunday, March 18, 2018, 20:00:59 (UTC)

F iconNewsroomAudio (staff)Foolitzer Prize

Feed-iconIndexesRandom story

28 April 2007


Swords, the weapon of choice for mass murderers.

Salt Lake City, Mormonland - Utah state Rep.-(R) Curl Oda defended his stance yesterday on loosening gun restrictions by suggesting that, if guns were banned, psychopaths would resort to more bloody methods of mass murder—like swords. "A person that's got skill with a sword in a very big crowd could put a lot more people down with a sword than a gun," stated Oda, "They're silent. You'll have people screaming, but nobody knows what's going on."

Today, the very incensed NRA (National Rapier Association) responded, with a spokesman stating that "Swords and other bladed weapons have a long and noble history of saving lives. We refute Representative Oda's allegation that swords are deadly weapons. Blades don't kill people, people kill people. There are countless instances of knives saving someone's life—there's a reason most wilderness survival kits include them. And knives are far more common among children than guns. To oppose blades is to deny American history."

The NRA spokesman went on to point out that Rep. Oda has a long history of opposing the right to bear knives. "May God rain down his wrath upon him," he concluded, "May he burn in hell for his unpatriotic comment."

The National Rapier Association is currently working to overturn a number of state laws banning switchblades, and is also pushing for a law allowing concealed throwing knives.

Oda was unavailable for comment. His wife, however, eagerly volunteered that he was an unbelievable dumbass.

edit Sources

Personal tools