UnNews:Political Leaders Agree To Lose Height As An Economy Measure
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Political Leaders Agree To Lose Height As An Economy Measure
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Wednesday, March 21, 2018, 16:23:UTC)(
10 June 2009
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Sarkozy defended his action as 'an example of Europe economising in the size of their politicians' and compared his own 'economical stature' to that of American President Barack Obama, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper and the British Prime Minister Gordon Brown. He also said the footstool was necessary as he had been unable to operate a lever which would have reduced the height of the lecturn. However the French President had an his own explanation why he now thought 'short is the new tall'.
In France the electorate chose me because I eat less in comparison to the Anglo-Saxons who are fixated on the markets for providing tall men as their political leaders. Like my equally compact comrade Chancellor Angela Merkel of Germany and Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi of Italy, we are showing that in the economic climate the world faces today , the leaders of great nations should lead by example and reduce themselves in size . I trust my allies do not see this as 'Heightism' but I think for those who have been barred from office with insults like 'Shorthausen' , 'Petit Poseur' or 'Mickey Mouse' , I can show everyone that it is a possible to jump over the barrier and become president or prime minister of your nation.
The French leader then hinted that other politicians had secretly agreed with him and that they had pledged to 'lose a few lower limbs' to balance the height disadvantage between them. He didn't spell out how this would happen or if he had in mind future leaders of the USA or Great Britain.'
President Sarkozy continued that this issue of 'height' did not include the wives or partners of world leaders. His new wife Carla Bruni stands at least an extra foot over her husband and has been obliged to walk with a bent back or flat shoes everytime she has been photographed with Sarkozy.