UnNews:Polish President announces week of national mourning
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Polish President announces week of national mourning
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Tuesday, April 25, 2017, 14:56:UTC)(
4 March 2011
WARSAW, PФLДИD -- This will be a sad week for all Poles. Their superhero - ski jumper Adam Małysz - has officially announced he is going to end his long and successful career after this season. This shocking news spread quickly and worried all Poles because Adam Małysz was actually one of the few people Poles can be proud of.
[Here the author set out the career success of Adam Małysz. However, as our readership has no freaking idea what ski jumping is, this was cut. --Ed.]
When Polish President Bronisław Komorowski heard this news, he called a press conference and announced, with a suspicious grin on his face, a week of national mourning. Long time no disasters - he said - But finally something awful happened and I can use my favorite prerogative - I can announce a week of national mourning!
That actually irritated Poles, even though they are already accustomed to national mournings. Happily, Polish Prime Minister Donald Tusk told the press he will probably not countersign the proclamation. Good God. Does Bronek know that announcing of national mourning is not a prerogative but a regulation that needs my countersign!? He could have called me before doing such an irresponsible thing! Who the hell does he think he is? A President!? - said angry Tusk.
But political scientists say that Tusk will countersign the proclamation after all just to prove that everything between him and Komorowski is fine. One way or another, Poles are fed up with recent years' national mournings...