UnNews:Police reunite for murder case
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||UnFair and UnBalanced|
2 February 2007
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
LOS ANGELES, California -- Three members of the Los Angeles Police Department -- Sgt. Buzz Sting, Officer Andrew Summers, and Officer Stewart Copelandson -- are reuniting for a murder case, some 23 years after they originally disbanded. Says Sgt. Sting, "We've been paged because a stalking that turned into a murder 23 years ago has been reopened. There's new evidence and stuff and we'll find the culprit sooner or later."
Sting, Summers, and Copelandson joined the LAPD in 1977 and have solved high-profile crimes, such as the Roxanne Prostitution Case of 1979, the disappearance of a man who sent the officers a message in a bottle, and they even helped arrest a schoolgirl who was getting too intimate with her teacher. They also arrested the teacher in that incident. Then came their biggest case yet.
"Every breath you take/Every move you make/Every vow you break/Every step you take/I'll be watching you"
and similar threats. The case was closed in 1983 when the trio broke up and has never been solved. The man was neither identified nor found.
Officer Copelandson agrees, "With our guns, this kid will not want to stand so close to me."