UnNews:Police officer slightly grazes elbow
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Police officer slightly grazes elbow
We distort, you deride
Saturday, January 21, 2017, 11:03:UTC)(
2 March 2007
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
Problems playing this file? You might be a dope.
NABNASET, England -- More questions were raised about lawless Britain after Kent Constabulary police officer Marcus Carefullnow received a graze to his left elbow whilst chasing two men who had been "throwing coins indiscriminately at some ducks". He was rushed to hospital where he is being treated for "mild abrasions about the elbow and forearm".
Pc Carefullnow was injured after he went to investigate a disturbance in a local pond, "I'm a keen bird watcher and so know a duck distress call when I hear one", he said from hospital, "I'd issued £321,700 in speeding fines that day so thought I ought to get off my arse and do a bit of real policing for a change. It wasn't long after that I heard a commotion in the duck pond so went to investigate."
Pc Carefullnow spotted two men throwing coins at the local wildfowl and quickly went into action, "It wasn't just the cruel intentions that these yobs had towards the ducks but I'm sure there's a law somewhere that stops people from throwing coinage away. Something to do with taking the monarchs image in vain, probably."
Unfortunately, as he gave chase, the officer paid a heavy price for his diligence and bravery when he tripped over his own feet and stumbled to the ground. This fall is thought to have caused minor grazes to his elbow and forearm.
"The two men ran off, not even having the courtesy to call me an ambulance. I was nearly in tears.", an emotional Pc Carefullnow continued. It is not known when he will be fit to return to active duties, "he will likely need psychological help for at least a few months", a Kent police spokeswoman said this afternoon, "he was lucky not to have suffered a nasty bruise on his bottom or, God forbid, a cut knee!".
The two men were described yesterday.