UnNews:Police dog takes over the Oscar Pistorius investigation

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Police dog takes over the Oscar Pistorius investigation

The news outlet with approval higher than Congress

UnNews Logo Potato
Friday, March 23, 2018, 09:50:59 (UTC)

F iconNewsroomAudio (staff)Foolitzer Prize

Feed-iconIndexesRandom story

21 February 2013


Rex...we need a safe pair of paws to handle the Oscar Pistorius case.

JOHANNESBURG, South Africa --

The South African Police Authority have confirmed they have appointed one of their best dogs to take over the mismanaged investigation following the arrest of Oscar Pistorius for the murder of his girlfriend.

Rex, a pure bred Afrikaans dog with a long history in (black) crowd control replaces Detective Hilton Botha who has been removed from the case as it turned out his skills were more of the school of Frank Drebin than Sherlock Holmes. Botha is also facing his own criminal trial for attempted murder so it was considered he had more in common with Pistorius than the prosecution case that the 'blade runner' had planned the death of Reeva Steenkamp.

The South African President Jacob Zuma welcomed Rex as the new investigator. He said it there was a lot to do for Rex but first, he would be allowed a special bone as a reward for taking on the job.

'I have full confidence in Dex..er Mex...damn..yes Rex to dig to the bottom of this hole. I am sure his nose will locate the truth of Pistorius and Steenkamp and what really happened in that bathroom. Now Rex needs to do his business at the bottom of the garden and then crack on."

edit Sources

Personal tools