UnNews:Police Declare Open Season on Protesters as Thousands Defy Curfew
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Police Declare Open Season on Protesters as Thousands Defy Curfew
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, March 25, 2017, 17:23:UTC)(
20 April 2006
Kathmandu, Nepal - Nepalese police have declared open season on protestors in Nepal, as thousands took to the streets in a fit of rioting against the imposed curfew, creating a mass of hysteria and destruction for the Nepalese police to deal with; eventually overwhelming them, and forcing the declaration of an open season on protestors.
Nepal is thus encouraging those from neighbouring countries to take a trip there for the newly created hunting season, and the event has been rumoured to have in fact received official sponsorship from American Vice President Dick Cheney who it is believed, will be attending the riot in the following day or two - in the hopes of bagging himself some "Nepalese hide".
Police have currently begun indiscriminately firing on protestors with a combination of rubber and live ammunition, with the aim of enabling them to round up and systematically pick off the protestors in as small a space as possible.
The country's King has promised to restore democracy 'when he feels like it' and that "these jerks creating a problem isn't making me feel any better about myself, which makes me feel more like not restoring it than ever" although the US VP seems to be undeterred by the fact that the country is indeed being controlled by a dictatorship.
Currently, the rioting is projected to continue for approximately two weeks, although Cheney has cited that he believes that he will be able to single-handedly bring this figure down to a quarter of its current estimation, so resultantly, any wishing to participate should attempt to get to the Nepalese city as quickly as possible.