UnNews:Police Chief: "Legalise Murder"
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Police Chief: "Legalise Murder"
Your A.D.D. news outl — Oooh, look at the pictures!
Tuesday, March 20, 2018, 18:03:UTC)(
11 October 2007
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
Problems playing this file? You might be a dope.
FUCKWIT POLICE CHIEF Richard Brunstrom has called for the legalisation murder in his latest drive to steamroller us all to hell in a wheelbarrow. Mr Brunstrom, the chief constable of North Wales, described existing laws against deliberate and premeditated killing as "outdated and non-inclusive of minority groups".
The, clearly dangerously insane, senior policeman urged the repeal of such laws to free up police time to "hound the average motorist with ever more elaborate and new driving offences".
The recent introduction of a "excessive enjoyment of driving" offence has prompted his appeals after more than 13,000 drivers were arrested last week for appearing to enjoy the experience of driving their car. Brunstrom, who has himself failed his driving test 6,238 times, has an irrational hatred of drivers and cars.
In his report to North Wales police authority, he described the current war against murderers as "unwinnable". "I think that police time would be far better spent hounding the average motorist." Brunstrom is also an outspoken supporter of capital punishment for speeders, "I'd shoot the bloody lot of them, without trial," he said in a recent interview.
He said: "The laws against murderings should be repealed and replaced by a new series of motoring laws based upon my own vitriolic and overly extremist hatred of cars and the evil bastards that drive them!"
In a 1-page document - Murder Policy, A Radical Look Ahead - Mr Brunstrom said: "UK policy against pre-meditated murder for the last several decades has been based upon outdated and discriminatorial attitudes against minorities that shame our nation. Draconian criminal penalties for the murder and killing are best left where they belong, in the dim past. We need to look forward, not back, and embrace murderers into mainstream society."
Labour Minister Clarence Nob expressed his own support, "if there's any way to cut crime figures then this idea is a very realistic and valid option that will be looked at seriously by the government."