UnNews:Players are behind me - McClaren

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Players are behind me - McClaren

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26 March 2007


Behind McClaren, this morning

"LITTLE TIKRIT" (MANCHESTER), England manager Steve McClaren says he still has the backing of his players, despite the dismal 0-0 draw in Israel. Newspaper reports have also alleged that McClaren was challenged by striker Wayne Rooney to a duel at dawn after his "honour was questioned".

McClaren was quick to rebuff the reports this morning, "The question of myself and Rooney engaging in a duel is a matter that should remain in the dressing room and as such I will not make any further comment on it"

Despite the denials scouse monkey Rooney was seen practicing his swordplay yesterday morning during an England training session. When asked why he wasn't training with the rest of the squad he reluctantly mumbled in his soft scouse drawl, "this is, like, a matter of, like, personal honour that transcends my, like, obligations to the team, like."

Prospective duel aside McClaren insists that the squad are behind him, "all the way, I know I can count on the lads not to let me down. isn't that right lads ... lads? Oh, they must be in the shower or something."

In breaking news it emerged that the duel between Rooney and McClaren ended after 12 hours with neither man able to hit a cows arse with a banjo.

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