UnNews:Playboy centerfold is Marge Simpson spins off Playboy Jr. for Boys
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||A newsstand that's brimming with issues|
12 October 2009
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
NEW YORK, New York -- Playboy today announced that the next issue of Playboy would feature a nude spread centerfold of Marge Simpson a Cartoon Character from The Simpsons along with a full sheet of facts on her.
Hugh Hefner said that Playboy is losing sales to Japanese Hentai magazines that show nude cartoons of cartoon women. That he needed something to appeal to the 20something men. Next month it will be Louis Griffin from Family Guy and after that Mary Jane Watson from Spider-Man. This will lead to a new magazine called Playboy Jr. that features nude centerfolds of cartoon and comic book women.
"We need to appeal to the teen and tween markets in order to survive," stated Mr. Hefner, "the parents won't like this but boys have to be at least 10 years old in order to buy Playboy Jr." In a shocking move Playboy Jr. will start out with the women of cartoons and work their way to the women of comic books and then later women in fiction books in which artists will draw women from popular fiction books in the nude. "This is a new process and I am going to patent it so Hustler and Penthouse cannot do the same things. Men and boys always wondered what fictional women look like naked, and this is Playboy's chance to give them a look. We even got the Teachers' Union to classify it as 'sex education' so it can be used in public schools."
The outrage from the Fundamentalist Christian community was shocking. "They are trying to turn our young boys into pimps and horn dogs who will grow up to abuse women and only treat them as sex objects and not human beings." Hefner replied to his critics by saying "I only do nudity in good taste, unlike my competition. This is for boys who have questions about sex education but their parents are too busy or too Fundamentalist to have a good talk with them about the birds and the bees."
Playgirl signs on Homer Simpson to appear nude in their magazine before Playboy patents the process. "We too want to appeal to young girls in their teens and tweens." said the Playgirl editor who announced that Playgirl Youth would be created for the younger 20something women and girls in their teens and tweens.
“Marge Simpson just became a CMILTF!”
“Whoa, way to go mom!”
“Marge Simpson always was a wild one, as pastor of her church she is hereby banned from my church for posing nude in Playboy.”
“I wish you were my wife........ wait a minute............ DOH!!”
- Don Babwin "Aye Carumba! Marge Simpson poses for Playboy cover". Associated Press, October 12, 2009