UnNews:Pirates hijack USS Enterprise
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.
19 February 2011
MOGADISHU, Somalia -- Somali pirates hijacked a super-carrier with 4,660 Americans on board Friday afternoon in the Indian Ocean, officials said. Omar Jamal, first secretary at the United Nations' Somali mission, identified the vessel as the “Big E” or The Enterprise.
He said Friday that the mission was calling for the immediate release of the crew and all other captives who were in the hands of an unknown number of pirates, believed to be six or more.
The Friday hijacking was first reported by Ecoterra International, which monitors regional maritime activity, according to the French news agency AFP. Ecoterra said the USS Enterprise was seized 240 nautical miles (275 miles) off the coast of Oman.
There has been a complete cut in all communications with the vessel, apart from an undisclosed demand made by the pirates to speak directly with American president Obama, and a refusal to negotiate with others.
USS Enterprise is the world's first nuclear-powered aircraft carrier and the eighth US naval vessel to bear the name. At 1,123 ft she is the longest naval vessel in the world. The commanding officer of Enterprise is Capt. Dee Mewbourne, who assumed command on January 4, 2011. The carrier was on her final mission.
“It is unknown how the craft, largest of it’s kind, and entire crew were hijacked and over-powered by a half dozen Somali pirates.” the spokesman said.
So far there has been no word from the White House on any plans made by President Obama to meet with the pirates. In other developments, both Jesse Jackson as well as Eddie Murphy have offered to mediate a settlement but the pirates reportedly turned them down.