UnNews:Pigeon and Monkey to wed, Flying Monkeys now inevitable

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14 September 2007

Pigeonmonkey

And Jesus wept...

BEIJING, CHINA – Possibly the greatest crime against God in the history of mankind, a despicable perverted monkey and a dirty whorish pigeon have decided to get married. The couple met at a zoo in Beijing last month and, according to zookeepers, they hit it off immediately.

Despite the obvious immoral aspects of the couples satanic love pact, experts are more concerned about the possible offspring. Flying Monkeys, once only visible in the Wizard of Oz and certain areas in Chernobyl, are now an inevitability with humanity preparing to fight an apocalyptic showdown with these damn dirty apes.

Chinese officials have drafted in Charlton Heston to advise on how to deal with the situation.

He’s the next best thing to Judy Garland" said one Chinese Minister.


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