UnNews:Phone stops ringing
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Phone stops ringing
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, July 1, 2016, 17:23:UTC)(
13 December 2006
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PORTSMOUTH, New Hampshire -- Porthsmouth resident Ocean Papadopoulos expressed his outrage today, as his telephone stopped ringing seconds before he picked up the reciever. "You. Fucking. Cocksucker!" screamed Papadopoulos, punctuating each word with a slam of the phone on the table, "Why!?"
The telephone, according to a report published by Papadopoulos this morning, had been ringing 'for at least a minute' before he attempted to answer it. "It had rung about 20, maybe 25 times before I got to it," said Papodapoulos, "as I was running to the phone, I thought, 'if they've held on for this long, they'll hang on until I pick up'. I guess I was wrong."
According to Papadopoulos' report, he was in the shower when the phone began to ring. Papadopoulos then rushed out of the shower, soaking wet, wrapped himself in a towel and rushed down the flight of stairs towards the phone. In the rush, however, Papadopoulos fell, tumbling down the staircase before coming to a tangled, wet, and naked stop at the bottom. Dazed, Papadopoulos rushed to the phone, only to have it stop ringing as his hand touched the reciever.
"The dreaded dial tone sounded out into my head, like a horrible drone of disappointment." said Papadopoulos, "I was really bummed out".