UnNews:People around the world celebrate International Happiness Day
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
People around the world celebrate International Happiness Day
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, September 5, 2015, 04:14:UTC)(
20 March 2013
New York City, New York Since last year, the United Nations General Assembly had declared every March 20 to be celebrated in awareness of The International Day of Happiness, encouraging support and advocacy for those suffering from happiness as a mental illness.
Support groups are springing up around the country urging people that happiness is harmful to their long-term health. According to anti-Happiness advocate Richard Bentall, happiness is statistically abnormal, and requires something called "positive thinking", which includes a conscious, but habit-forming distortion of reality so that only the positive side of life is emphasized. Only looking on the positive side of things means that they are living with a distorted perception of reality. These "happy" people carry this warped view of the world around with them, and even feel strongly about wanting to impose their happy outlook on others perceived not to be so happy.
Bentall also feels that these habitual distortions of reality also result in changes in the central nervous system which would indicate an abnormally-functioning brain, since that would make it substantially different from the majority of the population. The fact that happiness is not negatively valued was finally dismissed by the APA as scientifically irrelevant.
Drug companies are already sending brochures and samples of anti-happiness medications to psychiatric offices and psych wards, should the threat of happiness ever rear its ugly head in psychiatric sessions, or spread like a contagion through old folks' homes, AA Chapters, and soup kitchens.