UnNews:Pentagon to gays: “come and get it!”

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This article is part of UnNews UnNews Logo Potato1 Straight talk, from straight faces

25 March 2010

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PENTAGON -- Defense Secretary Robert Gates announced Thursday that the Pentagon will push a pro-gay army recruitment campaign with the slogan, "Come and get it!"--encouraging homosexuals to cavort openly in the military.

Among other things, Gates said the Pentagon is raising the threshold on what constitutes an appropriate level of poof soldiers to launch a "credible attack" against gay rag-head terrorists in combat.

The change is a reflection of "common sense" and the “dire need for more man-power” or “Poof Power" in the good war against the holy gay warriors of Islam! Gates said.

President Obama and Adm. Mike Mullen, both possibly closet gays, support the legislative appeal of "come and get it!"--which was first enacted in 2003 when it came to public attention that a gay-male soldier had an illegal abortion in Iraq. But the government stood firm in supporting the soldier.

“Well, that’s not the best example!” Gates explained. “You can hardly call a normal enema an abortion!”

Some prudish members of the military, however, have expressed concern over the impact of the gay recruitment appeal on unit cohesion and moral, among other things.

“We can't have it both ways!” Gates said. "We need these gays--I mean guys -- as cannon fodder in battle by day, and as recreation providers by night. In that regard they are much more useful than straight soldiers--who can't get laid in Iraq or Afghanistan--but who still need the release provided by these gay heroes.”

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