UnNews:Pence attends awful football game

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Pence attends awful football game

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7 December 2016

Pence at Jets game

To confuse potential assassins, Pence wore his John McCain mask, but forgot to put the cotton in his cheeks.

EAST RUTHERFORD, New Jersey -- In the latest of a series of moves calling aspersions on his ability to make good decisions, Vice President-elect Mike Pence went to MetLife Stadium here to see a Monday Night Football (MNF) game that everyone knew would be uncompetitive (POS).

And in the latest of a series of news articles in the East Coast press that tells the reader what to think about the news before it tells the reader what the news is, the press put this event alongside Donald Trump tweeting that the cost of the next Air Force One was too high and that the U.S. Government ought to stiff Boeing.

At the least, Mr. Pence sat in the owner's box, and did not have to brave awful weather as well as awful football. The owner, Woody "Woody" Johnson, sat to his left but wore a baseball cap to signal his own disdain for the New York Jets' product on the field.

Mr. Pence's reason for viewing the lopsided game was not clear. Certainly the coincidence of coming from Indiana, as the visiting Indianapolis Colts do, does not explain it. It can only be chalked up to a poor decisionmaking ability that, if worse should come to worst with a President-elect pushing 70 years, could cripple the nation.

Every other American knew that the Jets' game against the Indianapolis Colts would be an utter rout, as indeed the final score was 31-3, excepting the final quarter in which both teams used untested draft prospects in order that the Colts could let the Jets save a bit of face.

However, Mr. Pence did not see that quarter. Word is that he got in a cab to go downtown, telling the cabbie it would suck less to see another showing of Hamilton.

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