UnNews:Paul Ryan demonstrates the futility of the dependency culture by invading Ohio soup kitchen and washing clean pots
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Paul Ryan demonstrates the futility of the dependency culture by invading Ohio soup kitchen and washing clean pots
Straight talk, from straight faces
Thursday, May 28, 2015, 18:33:UTC)(
16 October 2012
YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio -- In a keen demonstration of his point, Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan has taken his popular anti-dependency message to the streets, on the lookout for opportunities to have his picture taken doing unnecessary things in places - such as soup kitchens, welfare offices and other government handout bazaars - that would never exist in his ideal objectivist utopia, just to demonstrate how useless they really are.
"I'm a put up or shut up kind of guy." he said as he washed a pot that was already clean at a St. Vincent de Paul Society kitchen in Youngstown, Ohio. "Have I told you that I admire Ayn Rand? She taught how things like soup kitchens, public libraries and free internet perpetuate the cycle of dependency that is destroying our great culture. So I am here to show exactly why I believe that people need to go home and eat in their own kitchen - as a reward for individual accomplishments - and stop relying on handouts. You would never wash a clean pot in your own kitchen. Do you see? Such is the culture of dependency on inefficient, dehumanizing bureaucracy that is destroying our livelihood."
Uninvited into the facility, Ryan and his entourage used a battering ram to break down the closed and locked kitchen door to demonstrate how "the needy are invading our metaphorical kitchens and raiding our refrigerators." He looked around for something completely unnecessary to do in order to promote his message of the futility of this kind of dependency, when he spied the clean pots. "And I just realized," he said, "washing a clean pot will show the American people how their tax dollars are being used for unnecessary, redundant things just to keep the patrons of places like these dependent on their programs. So I set about on my task. Fortunately I had a photographer with me to capture the moment, along with some random lady who was willing to pretend to hold a tray behind me."
When asked what he thought about the display, Brian J. Antal, the president of the facility, said, "We're a faith-based organization; we are apolitical. But this guy is a piece of work, isn't he? I still don't get what he was trying to do. Did I mention I'm voting for Obama?"
- Felicia Sonmez "Paul Ryan - soup kitchen volunteer... well, invader". Washington Post, October 15, 2012