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27 April 2007
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SMEGLEY PARK, England -- Pat Sharp, world renowned TV presenter second only to Dave Benson-Phillips and one of the most important TV personalities ever to combat the evil regime of Andi Peters and his 1000 Jack Bauer army, is, making a sensational comeback tour of England, or possibly just the Islington backwaters.
Sharp, known colloquialy as Pat Cracker Sharp, despite not being related to the star of ITV's Taggart, was thought to have fled abroad amid allegations of rigging on his prime time children's show Fun House; prizes to be won, its a whole lot of fun. Fortunately a sponsorship deal from Apple seems to imply his days of TV fame may be reincarnated once more. Sources amongst the People's Republic of China tell of his 'overwhelming feeling of Jubilance' which were not felt since the 'days of Fun House'.
He has been quoted as saying "use your body and your brain, if you want to win the game. Fun House! Ba-da-da!"
- Niccolo Machiavelli "Recent interview with the 'Woganesque' immortal, Pat Sharp". Machiavellian Schemes Quarterly, 27 April 2007
- Clive Anderson "Channel 4 news, on the day of the Murder of the Son of Man". BBC News Cretin's Corner serial, 27 April 2007