|This article is part of UnNews||Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?|
9 May 2010
Hollywood, CA -- The bizarre incident that had doctors baffled for weeks has finally had some light shed on the matter. An unusual story of two lesbian women falling pregnant to the millionaire play-girl Paris Hilton. The mystery of the two females, who are remaining nameless at this point, fell pregnant at the exact same time. What baffled doctors for weeks after the two girls visited the Doc Hollywood practice at the Beverly Hills Mall earlier this year, was how they came to be knocked up.
The two girls entered the practice, complaining of what was soon discovered to be morning sickness, according to Dr. Nickerbocker, the girl's general practitioner who attended the visit. He also said, "It was quite baffling to discover that these two women were a couple of donut-bumpers. They solemnly swore that they had not encountered any heterosexual activities to land them in this kind of position!".
The mystery of the bizarre pregnancies was solved last week, discovering that the two women had engaged in a sexual threeway act, involving Paris Hilton. In the past month prior to the event at hand, Paris had sucked so much dick that twelve milliliters of semen was still lodged between her teeth at the time of the lesbian encounter. It is now confirmed that while Paris was giving oral pleasure to both the women, the semen had dislodged itself from her oral-incubator, and dripped inside the two lady's vagina's, causing them to fall pregnant at the
hands mouth of Paris.
Paris Hilton was later interviewed saying, "Oops, I did it again", which would probably be funny, if Paris was Britney Spears. However Paris has never been one to understand a joke, being that she was always found as the punchline.