UnNews:Parents to take the fall for misbehaving children
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?|
28 June 2009
LONDON, England In what has to be one of the stupidest moves to ever be taken in the country, courts are officially blaming parents for their child's behaviour. Due to rise of employment in inadequately qualified teachers, Government Inspectors appear to be confusing a teacher's inability to control a class of children with children acting in an unsuitable manner resulting in a survey which claims that parent's don't know how to look after their children. As a result of this survey, teachers will soon be able to present a court-backed parenting order to any parents who's children are seen to be 'out of control'.
Many people have noticed several flaws in the surveys, the main one being that they were carried out during Maths, Science and Geography classes, previously proven to be the most unimaginative subjects in the world. Another flaw would be the actual teachers, Margaret Fornom a parent of a child in a London based school said, "Most of the time it seems as though these teachers have only left school or only just got their teaching degree. Of course it seems like our children are out of control, when your teacher has had no prior experience and no ability to engage a class, what do you expect?" Other parents have been questioning the role of the school, "It appears that the teachers think the children are just there to pass the time while we're at work," Sandy Morton, a Northampton based parent told us, "It is the school's job to teach our children about the world and how to deal with it; we as parents are here to fill in the gaps and to aid children during puberty and deal with their love lives etc. To discipline the children, you need to get them to respect you and to do that you need to engage them in what you're trying to say. Teacher's these days are unable to do it and that's their problem, not ours." Although many complaints are stating that the young inexperienced teachers are unable to control their classes it has also been noted that the older teachers are struggling which has been seen as a "lack of connection. The age gap means there's no common ground."
The initial Child Behaviour Surveillance for Good of Teachers investigation, came after the faculty of schools around the country noticed a drop in attendance at PTA meetings and a lack of interest at parent's evenings, both deemed to be productive ways for schools to work with the community in order to benefit the children. Polly Candre, who teaches Year Seven students Science says that, "We need parents to work with us, most of the trouble we have starts off in Year Seven as the children make that leap from Primary School to Secondary school, parents should be spending the summer beforehand preparing the students for this change." Many parents disagree with this stating that there needs to be a "balance between education and relief. The summer is for the students to chill out or get a job or go on holiday, why should we force them into a dictatorship type regime in order to 'prepare themselves' for Secondary School? Surely teachers could just make the transition more easier by not imposing so many new rules and responsibilities in the first week."
What parents fear most is the idea that they will be blamed for something which is ultimately the school's fault. Although they do influence their child's behaviour they have no way of controlling it once they are out of the house and inside the classroom which is the teacher's domain. Guidelines can be set at home however these cannot be monitored by the parents whilst the child is at school. It is up to the teachers to lay down the rules for the children. This new order is one of many which are to be unveiled this week by Gordon Brown and the Labour Party, although parents are already protesting it is unclear whether the government will take any notice or not.
- Gaby Hinsliff and Polly Curtis "Parents face fines if pupils behave badly". Guardian Online, June 28, 2009