UnNews:Palpatine rejects withdrawal from Kashyyyk

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.

21 August 2006

Emperor Palpatine at a recent Holonet conference.

IMPERIAL PALACE, Coruscant -- HIs Majesty Emperor Palpatine, Dark Lord of the Sith has ruled out any withdrawal from Kashyyyk while he is emperor. He said withdrawing stormtroopers from Kashyyyk would be a "huge mistake" and create a safe haven for rebels. At a news conference at the burned-down ruins of the Jedi Academy, the emperor also said he was concerned about the possibility of civil war on Kashyyyk.

Meanwhile, the Imperial Army said four of its stormtroopers had been killed in the restive western province of G'Dyyyr T'Shaaan in the last 56 Kashyyyk hours. The Emperor had summoned journalists to announce an aid package for Alderaan, but UnNews's Holonet correspondent on Coruscant, Heywood Jablome, says the reporters wanted to question him on Kashyyyk. The issue is framing the Senate election races in November, our correspondent says. Many in the Republican Party are worried the war could cost them their narrow majority in the Senate. Some have jailed Rebel Alliance leaders, while others, including Palpatine himself, are beginning to abolish the 20,000-year-old Senate.

"There are many people - despicable, Jedi-loving traitors - saying 'withdraw now'," Mr. Palpatine said. "They're absolutely wrong. It would be a huge mistake." The Emperor said withdrawing Stormtroopers before the inferior, barbaric, and rebel-friendly Wookiee race was eradicated risked making the Empire less secure. "A failed Kashyyyk in the heart of the Mid Rim will provide a safe haven for Rebels and Jedi," he said.

Mr Palpatine said all peace-loving non-Jedis want a unified Galactic Empire. "I hear a lot of talk about the so-called 'Galactic Civil War.' I'm concerned about that of course, as I know that as long as the Jedi and the Rebel Alliance still exist, we will have to continue to blow up Outer Rim planets. The Imperial leadership is determined to thwart the efforts of the Jedi and rebels."

Stormtroopers are working with Empire-aligned Wookiees in a new drive to reclaim parts of the Wookiee capital from gunmen and bombers, called Operation Together Forward. Last week, 600,000 stormtroopers who had just been rotated out of Kashyyyk were called back in to Rwookrrorro to help with the campaign.

As well as the Wookiee-led insurgency that broke out after the Empire defeated the Confederacy of Independent Systems (CIS) at the Battle of Kashyyyk, there has been a growing trend in Rwookrrorro and certain other cities and towns to increasing speciesist violence between Wookiees and Humans.

Sources

• Grand Moff Tarkin "Palpatine gives an ear to the military's pleas!". Holonet, August 21, 2006

• Darth Vader "Kashyyyk: Friendly planet or Rebel hot-spot?". Imperial Press, August 20, 2006