UnNews:Palin finally answers what her favorite color is; faces scrutiny
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Where man always bites dog|
4 October 2008
NEW YORK, New York - Today Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin held her first post-debate interview at FOX News, with Brit Hume as host during the primetime segment. Beforehand the McCain campaign had warned the journalist that he may be seen as a media elite if he asks any questions intended to invoke the audience's liberal bias. Mr. Hume started out the interview with light banter and asked Palin what her favorite color was. Palin stared blankly; Hume corrected himself and said "Colors."
Palin answered "Well, shucks, Brit, I think red, white, and blue are just the bee's knees." However, scientists regarded as top experts in the field of chromatics conclude "white" was not a valid answer. "Black and white, all colors or lack thereof, is not considered a conventional visual perceptive property under the category of color. Artistically, it falls under tint," explained Thadeus Cooper of Arlen University in Wyoming.
The McCain campaign immediately shot back, pointing out that white is valid as a color in the electromagnetic spectrum, although previous interviews with other political figures suggest that this was not the strict definition used for the question. "Palin is a maverick," asserted McCain spokeswoman Carly Fiona. "She refuses to stick to conventional color boundaries where her liberal opponents continuously attempt to confine her."
When asked, Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson jovially responded that his favorite color was black, mentioning it as a commentary as the stock market briefly rebounded that day. "But seriously," Hume followed up. Paulson answered his favorite color was green, while flashing seven stacks of billion dollar bills each featuring Ronald Reagan's's winking photograph.
Senator Joseph Biden previously went on the record that his favorite color was green while reciting Obama environmental initiatives. He cited his support for green collar occupations and his previously employment in one such job, until Hume interrupted to point out he just had relish on his shirt. Reporters meeting McCain inside his headquarters saw him hanging from a stalactite and were grumpily told that his favorite color is ultraviolet, but usually he just finds his meat through echolocation.
Philadelphia Tribune columnist Phil Geldbrook wrote a scathing review of the interview after her appearance. "If Palin knows this much about colors, perhaps it might be a good thing that she won't be able to find out which big button is the red one."
"It remains to be seen how this could affect the dynamics of the race in the days ahead," said Global Daily News correspondent Paula Dobriansky. "If the trend continues, this gaffe could actually turn out to be a huge boon to the McCain campaign if it is seen by the American public as having just been patriotic." --- (KP)