UnNews:Palin: I will not respond to the superpenis' issued in investigation
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Palin: I will not respond to the superpenis' issued in investigation
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, August 1, 2015, 08:08:UTC)(
19 September 2008
ANCHORAGE, Alaska (UNN) - Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin today stated that she, and her husband Todd, are above the law, and that she would not cooperate with a an Alaskan State investigation into allegations that she and her husband ordered a wack job on her brother-in-law and his department Director.
Palin, has said repeatedly that "we Republicans do not have to obey laws, we make them for other people to obey. So when those superpenis' were issued in Alaska today, I said 'Thanks but no thanks' to doing my best to follow the laws of the Alaskan nation."
When pressed for her reason why, if in fact she and her husband are innocent of the charge why she objects to responding to the supeonas, Palin definantly stated that "I don't obey laws, only little people obey laws," said Palin, who read a statement that she has been rehearsing for the past month.
At a campaign stop in Youngstown, Ohio, Palin also today let it slip that the McCain-Palin ticket was really the Palin-McCain ticket. "When there is a Palin administration in the White House, following Senator McCain's unfortunate trip down a flight of twisty and dark White House stairs, I promise you that there will be a semi-automatic riffle in every child's lunch box, that there will be a Wasilla Titty Bar on every street corner and free moose urine spray for every hunter in this great nation!"
Palin, who is also anxious to demonstrate her command of foreign policy matters, also promised that while she was for normalizing relations between Alaska's other polar neighbor, Santa Claus, that she would personally see to it that his herd of eight reindeer would be blown out of the sky this Christmas if he invaded U.S. protected air space.