UnNews:Outrage as GMTV uses hard core live pornographic show to 'model' thermal socks
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||A newsstand that's brimming with issues|
26 November 2007
VIEWERS WERE EXPOSED TO AN UNEXPECTED TREAT this morning when UK breakfast show GMTV put on a live sex show to illustrate a feature on thermal socks "for those long winter nights". When presenter Lorraine Kelly announced the fashion feature on thermal socks, it would have been fair to assume they would be displayed by a series of elderly gentleman, in slippers. Instead three couples, complete with their own "vibrating and plastic paraphenalia" demonstrated the thermal legwear in increasingly elaborate sex shows. The breakfast TV host seemed totally unperturbed as the models engaged in bouts of graphic acts of sexual depravity too explicit to describe on a family interweb site.
Viewer Gary Kwanstain, of Bristol described the moment he realised that GMTV were putting on an inpromptu sex show, "one minute I was spreading peanut butter on my fresh round of toast and the next I was licking it off my wifes nipples. That show really got us in the mood for some early morning sexy times!"
However, not all reactions to the the "fashion" item broadcast before 9am were so positive as angry responses from family campaigners threatened to paralyse the entire UK phone network. John HankyWank, of the TV campaign group "No Sexy TVs Please, we're English", said: "I was revolted by this shameless exhibition of lustful sex between nubile young men and women. I was particularly upset and offended by the prolonged way one lady gyrated atop her man, impaling herself most vociferously atop his throbbing manhood, howling like a banshee as she reached a glorious orgasm, her lovely pert breasts bouncing ... bouncing mmmm yes, lovely, natural breasts bouncing up and down ... up and down, mmmm"
"I wish ITV would concentrate on producing more wholesome television." "