UnNews:Original SNL cast reunites for DVD release
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Original SNL cast reunites for DVD release
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Wednesday, July 29, 2015, 10:10:UTC)(
12 December 2006
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
NEW YORK CITY, New York -- Yet another law was broken last Tuesday... the Law of Physics. The original cast of Saturday Night Live reunited for the Complete First Season DVD release on December 5... including the late John Belushi and Gilda Radner. Passers-by were completely shocked at seeing Belushi's rotting corpse walking and performing the classic Samurai sketch. "I was completely shocked," said SNL creator and executive producer Lorne Michaels. "I thought I had been drinking too much vodka or hallucinating. I ran for my life at the sight of a zombie doing John's famous Joe Cocker impression. AAAAAAAAA!"
Though executive producer of the long-running late-night sketch-comedy series, Michaels was completely unaware that a reunion was planned, and even so, he says, "I would have thought it would only be the living castmembers, like Dan Aykroyd or Chevy Chase. How in the name of science can a man or woman rise from the dead?"
Easy. Remember when Steve Irwin rose from the dead in September? Or what about when Al "Grandpa Munster" Lewis became undead in February? Scientists are still trying to figure out how rising from the dead is possible. Chevy Chase has a plausible answer, "We all know Night of the Living Dead wasn't real. I think Heaven gets too crowded and then the dead must walk among the living. But I ain't afraid of no ghost."
Then Dan Aykroyd chimed in with, "If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call?!" expecting somebody to shout, "Ghostbusters!" After a long awkward silence, Aykroyd replied with, "ahh, forget it."
But this isn't the first time an SNL castmember has rosen from the dead. In June, a zombified Phil Hartman came in to audition for a sequel to the Arnold Schwarzenegger & Sinbad vehicle, Jingle All The Way. SNL alums continue to disavow any knowledge of this incident.
Garrett Morris commented on this haunted reunion Monday by saying, "Yeah, the rumors are all true. John and Gilda were at the reunion, all zombified and ugly looking. I could hardly look at them. But I love this DVD set, and I hope everybody out there buys it before Belushi eats my brain." Then Belushi proceeded to eat Garrett Morris's brain, and he too became a zombie.
It is not believed that Belushi or Radner had faked their deaths, à la John Candy or Elvis. We spoke to Elvis and Candy, and they both said, "No, we haven't seen Belushi walking around anywhere since his 1982 death. He's dead as a doornail."
More information will be provided when available. SNL is in its 32nd season.