UnNews:OpEd Columns Editorials Letters/OpEd

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UnNews:Editorial - Government: "You can't get high"

Washington, D.C. Want to get high? Want to dream while you're awake? Want to experience highs, lows, and middles that blow your mind? Well, tough because "You Can't Get High"(tm).

I've spent billions of dollars keeping you from getting high, and will spend billions more. I've also put lots of people in prison, all for the sake of keeping you from getting high. Sure, putting them in jail will cause them to take drugs, but they can get high. They're in prison. They don't count. It's not like they can do anything. Ah, the legal system. Such an infallible system.

Ahem, back on topic. Why can we not get high? I can just see you asking that question, rocking on the floor with your shirt off while yelling at the demons that exist only in your mind. Let that fly out of your mind with all thoughts of guilting me into changing my mind with your horrible withdrawl, let it go. Here's why you can't get high (tm). more...

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