UnNews:Ontario man unable to find girlfriend, builds one instead
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Where man always bites dog|
13 December 2008
Brampton, Ontario (UnNews) - A 33-year-old virgin living in his parent's basement has done the impossible, he has obtained an attractive girlfriend. Asked how he could do this given his puny physique, poor social skills, and lack of money; he had one answer. He built her. Le Trung has been obsessed with robots for as long as he could remember. When he was a little boy he build one for his 4th grade science fair. The robot could move around and launch shotgun shells. Unfortately for Trung, he was disqualified when his robot decapitated another child. "Well the sign said do not touch, how was I supposed to know he was dyslexic and couldn't read". After that incident Trung found it hard to continue his hobby of building robots. His parents would encourage him to study law or medicine and would throw any robots he did make in the garbage. The final straw came when his parents discovered him fellating himself with one of the robots. They were so disgusted with him that they threw him out for a week. Still, Trung remained determined in his long-term goals.
Trung took a break from robots for a few years while he was in university but he never completely gave up on his goal to one day create the perfect female companion. While in high school and university, Trung desperately tried to mate with human females but he was rejected due to his small frame and underdeveloped genitals. His lack of social and athletic skills further cemented the fact that he would likely remain celebate the rest of his life. Rather than giving up and accepting a life of solitude, Trung decided that he would realize his dream of having the perfect girlfriend.
Starting in August of 2007, Trung began to create his dream girl, Aiko. She is just under 5 feet tall and weights about 32kg (70lbs), roughly the size of a 12-year-old Japanese schoolgirl, which is what Trung fixates on. He has maxed out three credit cards creating her and admits he has also stolen thousands of dollars from his parents to in order to build her. Just the silicone alone has cost over six grand. Trung insists that it was a necessary expense because silicon just feels so nice.
As soon as it became public that Trung had created Aiko, the topic of sex immediately came up (as did Trung's tiny penis). When asked if she had breasts Trung responded "Yes, albeit small ones but thats how I like them". When asked if she had a vagina, Trung responded "Yes, a nice tight Asian one, like a virgin". When asked if the vagina came with sensors and if Aiko responded to vaginal stimulation, Trung said "Of course, we have to be as accurate as possible". Finally when asked if he had sex with the android, Trung truthfully responded "Of course I do, thats the whole reason I built her in the first place".
Aiko is anatomically correct and comes with nipples and a vagina, both respond to touch both physically and verbally. The vagina even comes with sensors so Aiko can distinguish between various forms of touch (such as the difference between sticking a penis in there or fondling her vagina). Aiko also has the ability to talk dirty when sexual comments are made towards her. In addition to being a sexual slave, Trung also uses Aiko to do all his housework and to take care of his personal hygeine. Asked why his parents haven't thrown her in the garbage, Trung says its because they believe she is real. Trung plans on building more female androids and marketing them to virginal losers just like himself.