UnNews:Olympian volleyball players also "play" off court

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1 August 2012

Simonsez

Simon signals her intentions to her “partner.”

LONDON, U. K. – By itself, women's volleyball, even at the Olympics, isn't all that exciting. That's why the players' “uniforms” are bikinis—and mostly thongs, at that. In addition, to attract even more interest to themselves their game, the players use hand signals, extending or closing fingers, which they display against their often-bare buttocks, sometimes while bent over.

“If that doesn't get fans' attention, the men in the stands must be gay and the women must not be,” Spain's Alejandra Simon suggests.

Ostensibly, the signals are related to the girls' players' strategy.

Two fingers pointed down supposedly indicates a cross-court block. What It really means, China's Chen Xue revealed, “is, Let's have a foursome after the game.”

Pointing the right forefinger up while pointing the left forefinger down indicates that the signaler enjoys both oral and anal sex.

Displaying the left middle and forefinger, as if they were the open blades of a pair of scissors while pointing downward with the right forefinger expresses a desire for “femdom” play, Germany's Stephanie Pohl explained, although she wouldn't say why. “We like to keep some things just between ourselves and our partners,” she admitted.

Spain's Liliana Fernandez Steiner said, “Volleyball is a rough sport, and we players like to play with each other a little after we play against each other on the court.”

“I guess you could call the match foreplay,” Mexico's Maria Aideee Garcia Lopez agreed.

“It reminds us that, although we are competitors on the court, we are girlfriends otherwise.”

Traveling across the world, living in close quarters, practicing with one's teammates, and playing against a small number of opponents creates intense friendships and a desire for intimacy “that volleyball can't quite satisfy,” Simon confessed. “I want to get close to my partner after a game; that's when the real fun starts!”

She admitted that she also enjoys “making love” to her opponents. “Most of us are in open relationships,” she said, “and off the court, it's all just one, big, happy orgy.” She's even had sex with her coach, she said, adding "all the players have sex with their coaches."

The bikinis are intended to excite greater attraction to the sport on the part of the game's fans, the players agree, but the brief swimsuits also generate quite a bit of interest on our part—in each other,” U. S. player Karch Kiraly gushed.

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