UnNews:Ohio Voters Swayed by Clinton's Experience
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Ohio Voters Swayed by Clinton's Experience
UnFair and UnBalanced
Tuesday, May 23, 2017, 10:33:UTC)(
5 March 2008
COLUMBUS - Ohio voters have warmed to the policies of Senator Hillary Clinton, a recent UnNews investigation has discovered. With 100% of precincts reporting, the Junior Senator from New York edged out her Democratic rival Senator Barack Obama of Illinois 54-44 in that state. Comments from voters around the state suggested that her previous experience was a factor.
In Chillicothe, voters expressed strong sentiments in favor of Clinton. “I was really impressed with her experience on the board at Wal-Mart” said Dawn Waltham, 44, who is an adult foster care provider and member of the SEIU. “She really stood up for worker rights while she was there”. Others enjoyed her demeanor thus far in the campaign. Worker Colleen Farleigh, 53, at her job as a railroad engineer in Fostoria, said she felt that Clinton’s short temper and hard nosed style would bring great results for the country. “I really feel like it’s important for someone not to be too calm in a stressful or crises situation”, said Farleigh. “The debate in Cleveland last week really showed everyone how she intends to get things done by attacking the neutral third party and continuously harping on small issues.” One voter expressed frustration at the intermittent cooperation that has taken place in Washington over the years. “I feel like the best way to advance the country is to have someone who won’t compromise on any issue even in a dire situation” said Ashtabula resident Linda Johnston, 33. “That brings about the gridlock and mudslinging which brings us together as a country and inspires people to participate in the political process.”
At the General Motors Assembly plant in Moraine, workers expressed confidence in her economic skills. “She really turned things around for upstate New York”, said Jeremy York, 36. “I can’t wait to see what she has in store for Ohio”. The Buckeye state has been hard hit in the recent economic downturn, losing approximately 200,000 manufacturing jobs since the year 2000. The economy and its poor condition appears to be the central issue in Ohio voters’ minds, moving ahead of the war in Iraq.
Some voting in the primary felt that there was little meaningful difference between the two candidates. These voters tended to take a pragmatic approach to the primary. “I want someone who can win against McCain” said Youngstown resident Madelyn Herrick, 64. “If there is anyone who can swift boat a man that has fought in a war and served his country honorably in the public sector, she can.” On National Security, the recent television advertisements that ask the viewer who they would want to have answering the White House phone at 3 am appear to have had an effect. “I really worry about the condition of a person at that hour, especially if they’re going to be president” said Coshocton resident Jim Appleman, 55.
There were stark differences in the demographics of those who voted for Clinton versus those who voted for Obama. In the major urban centers of Cincinnati, Cleveland, and Columbus, voters went for Obama by wide margins. These areas tend to have a much higher percentage of well educated people than the rest of Ohio. “We prefer to have the demographics that we presently have” said Clinton spokesperson Phil Singer. “It’s much easier to persuade and fear monger uneducated people than those with college degrees. The latter group tends to bring up previous statements that are inconvenient.”
In the end, Democratic voters in Ohio felt that Clinton did a better job of pandering to their interests and inflated feeling of self-worth. “I hate these politicians who get up and tell people what they need to hear as opposed to what they want to hear”, said retired Hamilton resident Jean Bickley, 70. “With Clinton, we’ll continue to have someone in the white house who is more concerned with advancing the lives of their few rabid supporters as opposed to a president who is working for the good of everyone.”
- Joe Hallett and Jonathan Riskind "Clinton gets job done in Ohio". The Columbus Dispatch, March 5, 2008
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|