UnNews:Octomom sues Michelle Duggar
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|This article is part of UnNews||Straight talk, from straight faces|
6 September 2009
go to hell go
"I have had 14 kids so far, and at an enormous cost in technology and effort, and hear this Christian bimbette is unfairly using divine intervention to have more and more with ease." said Octomom. "Here I've almost caught up, and she goes and gets God to give her yet another. Where does it end?"
Octomom's injunction is to prohibit the latest birth, and the suit is seeking damages in the amount of two of the Duggar's currently 18 children. This would then let each of them have 16 total. "Fair is fair, and besides, if Jim Bob Duggar keeps having to spend more on his kids, there won't be any money from him left to support mine.", said Octomom, known to rely on working men like Jim Bob to keep her own kids fed.
A source in heaven has denied that God has given Michelle Duggar all those kids. Said St. Peter, "Michelle is as effed up as Nadya, she just has more patience. Believe me, we wish she'd stop, or at least stop blaming us." St. Peter is probably refering to the fact that local Christians have been a litte embarassed at Jim Bob and Michelle basically breeding their own new church.
"God said to be fruitful and multiply, not be fruity with multiples." said St. Peter.
Octomom was unavailable for comment, being busy hosting yet another newscast about how bothersome the press coverage of her is. Michelle was simalarly unavailable, as she was busy giving a speech to a crowd of barren women about how it was God who blessed her husband with so many followers...er, children.