|This article is part of UnNews||We distort, you deride|
10 February 2010
VANCOUVER, British Columbia -- A dark-skinned athlete with a funny name more common to the Summer Games has created a stir here, becoming a media darling and fan favorite for being the only athlete from some hard-to-pronounce non-UN nation somewhere along the equator that is likely completely snowless and possibly politically troubled.
With wiry hair protruding from a seemingly ill-fitting but colorful helmet nonetheless suited for the athlete's particular event, the athlete charmingly spoke in broken English about the training difficulties in his or her native country that such athletes always face, but that he or she was somehow still able to overcome. Throngs of white Northern Hemisphere dwellers cheered the athlete on, immediately buying out all tickets to the single event in which the athlete was participating and very likely to finish very close to last place.
Flags of the athlete's nation were unavailable, as the tiny war-torn nation has no Olympic Organizing Committee, so precious little white seven-year-old kids from nearby Vancouver Heights Elementary School created twenty nearly recognizable close replicas of it with construction paper and crayons.
The athlete was deeply moved by the gesture, and vowed to do the very best he or she possibly could to please his or her new light-skinned fans. "Maybe I possibly finish high as 88th," he or she promised.