UnNews:Obama wins a big freaking medal

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9 October 2009

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Obama giving his acceptance speech at the Temple of Zeus in Greece.

LAUSANNE, Switzerland - Today the International Olympic Commitee honored President Barack Obama by giving him a gold medal. Though he has never competed in any official Olympic sport, the award was given to him for his bid last week to bring the Olympic games to Chicago.

The I.O.C. praised "his extraordinary efforts to bring the world together in his hometown", which "brought the people of Chicago and the rest of America great hope". As you might recall, he didn't actually succeed in bringing the games to Chicago, but the commitee gave him the prize anyway for trying his very best.

However, a debate is brewing about whether Barack Obama properly won the award according to Olympic charter rules. To date, Obama has never provided his birth certificate to the public in order to prove whether he was born male or female. Many right-wing bloggers speculate that ACORN probably played a part in all this. Others believe it was affirmative-action.

Along with Obama winning the gold, Oprah Winfrey was awarded the silver, while First Lady Michelle was given the bronze.

In response to the pseudo-achievement, the President said, "I accept this award on behalf of everyone who is given something they didn't earn."

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