UnNews:Obama to America: "It's your fault"
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||A newsstand that's brimming with issues|
7 June 2010
For the first time since visionary former President Jimmy Carter's televised chat in 1980 about a supposed "national malaise," Mr. Obama's solution to a government that has kept industry from delivering desired goods and services, is for Americans to stop desiring them--to stop sending money overseas for fuel. By comparison, John McCain, Mr. Obama's opponent in 2008, said...the same thing. Mr. Obama explained, "We should leave it to illegal gardeners and restaurant workers to send money overseas."
Mr. Obama repeated his call to curtail tax breaks for the oil industry and spend the money on "green" energy, such as harnessing methane from cows, re-using kitchen grease in vehicles, and building huge windmill farms, anywhere except within view of the Kennedy compound on the Massachusetts coast. "This will create millions of jobs," the President said--new jobs selling apples on street corners alone accounting for thousands.
Mr. Obama charged the opposition party with favoring industry and the wealthy, while he is in tune with The Little Guy, who is about to have to curtail his life. The opposition party, whose name was not immediately available, had no response--only a spiffy new web site with which it has put out an all-points-bulletin for new ideas. The American electorate has five months left before the mid-term elections, when it will have to decide between finger-pointing and shoulder-shrugging.
Arlen Specter accompanied Mr. Obama to the event. Mr. Specter is losing his Senate seat after his primary-election defeat by Joe Sestak. Earlier, UnNews reported charges that the Obama administration had offered Sestak a job on the Obama team to take him out of the race. Now Specter is on the team--having acquired only one additional qualification for the job since then: He is a loser.